An open letter to office inhabitants (draft 1)

I'm halfway through a 2 week temp job as a receptionist in an office. It's driving me a little bit mad and making me feel a little bit beige so iv'e compsed a draft of an open letter i should like to one day send to all office dwellers.

Dear Office-People

What's your story? Have you ever thought about how much you don't want to be here and why, if you don't want to be so much, you are still here, and planning on being here for many a year? Couldn't your memory be put to better use than storing every public holiday/weekend/religious holiday?

Please stop talking about the weather. I know it is something that occurs every day, and that it fills those awkward pauses neatly but didn't your mother ever tell you that if you can't say something nice don't say anythig at all? if you don't like the heat and you don't like the cold and you don't like the rain then how have you survived on earth this long without slitting your wrists? Or is that why you choose to spend most of your time in a large box with immitation air and immitation light?

Smiling is an activity that should activate a number of muscles in one's face, not just the muscles underneath the frown lines around one's mouth.

Sincerely,

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